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Denver Post, The (CO)
Western forumMay 20, 2007 Section: PERSPECTIVE
Page: E-06
Testing your kids for drugs
Re: "Drug-test kits a
big hit with parents," May 13 news story.
Thanks for your
very informative story on the controversy over home drug
testing for our children. However, I was puzzled by all the
hand-wringing and nail-biting over whether it's good or bad for
parents to practice home drug testing for adolescents and
teens. The issue is simple. All parents know drugs of all kinds are
available to our youth, and peer pressure and the urge to experiment
with new thrills are powerful motivators. So, where's the
quandary?
While I am reluctant to draw a direct
analogy between managing employees and managing children in the
home, in many ways the two practices are similar. It's all about
clear communication of expectations, accountability, performance,
regular followup and incentives.
For instance: You
set a standard of zero tolerance for drugs. You communicate that
standard to children in the home. You provide a system of
measurement of performance. The children meet or do not meet that
standard of performance. They are rewarded, or not,
appropriately.
Too authoritarian? Hardly, especially
given the high stakes. On the subject of drugs, there should be no
democracy practiced in a home with adolescents and teens
present.
Larry Valant, Castle
Rock
...
After using drug
testing with my three children successfully for 11 years, I can
say with assurance that the article on drug testing really
missed the point. The point of giving your kids a drug test is to
give your kids a tool to use against peer pressure.
If you
tell your kids you will drug test them, and you periodically do test
them, they feel protected and safe. They have a powerful tool to use
when approached with the offer to try drugs. I know, because my sons
have thanked me for being able to tell their friends, "No, I can't
smoke that. My mom tests me."
Most kids don't want to get
involved in drugs. They are well aware of the dangers. They simply
don't have the skills on board to keep themselves strong in the
midst of the pressure they receive from friends when approached with
the offer.
The idea that drug testing should
be turned over to the state in the form of drug testing at
school is not what we need. It's my opinion that parents need to
take more responsibility for their child's welfare, not less. Kids
want and need tools to withstand the harsh winds that can blow them
down. As parents, it's our job to give them
these.
Andrea Barnes,
Aurora
...
For Bertha Madras, the
White House deputy drug czar, to infer that parents are incapable of
handling drug testing is not just wrong, it is
insulting.
I worked in adolescent health care from
1969 to 1977. Drugs were a big issue then. It impressed me that the
starting time for drugs was middle school, mostly seventh
grade.
I have been a certified nurse midwife since
1978. I still see plenty of teens in my office with a drug issue.
When do they start? They are still starting in middle school -
mostly seventh grade.
So, when my kids entered seventh grade,
they got new bikes and they got regular drug testing. To
answer the charge, "You don't trust me," my husband and I responded,
"Sure we do. We trust that you will have a wonderful adolescent
experience that may include wrong choices. We will not be the last
to find out. If you make those choices, we will be there for
you."
Catch it early. Start testing in seventh grade.
Simply make it routine. Let your kids know you are going to be on
top of this. Give your kids the gift of saying, "No thanks, I'll get
busted."
Evie Piele,
Centennial
...
A wise man once said,
"Trust but verify." If a parent is suspicious of their child's
behavior, they should be the parent. They should hold the kid
accountable. They should set the standard and enforce it. Listening
to the "experts" who say it destroys trust is what has our kids so
screwed up now. Kids have no fear today. They have no respect. There
is nothing wrong with the kid knowing who is the boss and what
measures the boss will take to assert the authority. The parent is
responsible to assert their authority as needed to prevent junior
from screwing up.
Ray Hornsby,
Arvada
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